Remember when you were dating? We spent so much effort putting our best foot forward. We take care to be well groomed and pleasant to be around. When you live with someone and deal with the day to day stresses, the best foot tends to get forgotten in the closet.
It is so easy, when you are with a person day after day and deal with all issues that adult life has to offer, to let the little things begin to annoy us. We now are seeing the whole person, not just all the positive things. Little comments made without thought, laundry left on the floor or any of the other thousands of little things that can pile up and cause friction. All of these things are really trivial and small in the broad scope but sometime we gravitate toward this little irritations and focus on them rather than letting them go and finding the positives to cling to.
I have seen it happen many times, when there are issues in a relationship, an eye will begin to wander a bit. It is easy to look at someone outside and see all the positive traits. Let me tell you though, if you were living with that person every day, you would begin to notice their negatives as well. This is where we are responsible for what we see and must change our perspective.
In the beginning it will take conscious effort to change this perspective and let the small stuff be swept away and forgiven. Creating a more positive outlook on things and finding the little pleasantries that we have let blur over is a must.
Noticing and appreciating the good things and releasing the not so good, will change a great many things.
Taking control of how you view the world and what you choose to focus on feels great. Initially it may be a little difficult, but like anything else, with practice it just gets easier and easier, until one day it is just second nature. Every morning set the intention to find some lovely little thing. Maybe it is a bird, or a flower, whatever it is, ask to find it and you will begin to notice.
We can use this in our relationships as well. Find those happy little moments. It may be small at first, but you will find them more and more as you go along. We can also create these moments for our partner. Take that first step and reach out to them. Say I love you at a moment that is not expected, like maybe while cooking. If your partner is standing at the stove cooking, gently caress across their back. These little things that were so abundant in the courting stage are wonderful to carry on throughout your lifetime. They make both partners involved feel good and appreciated.
Compliment your partner, whether it is some physical trait or something they do well. Once again this is where a little stroking the ego can be very beneficial.
Every day find a silver lining. I guarantee you that if you are alive, and I am pretty sure if you are reading this that you are, you have something to be thankful for. Be thankful you woke up this morning, after all, if you are awake, you are still alive.
As you focus on the positive, you will begin to notice that the grass on your side is getting greener and greener with every passing day. What a wonderful gift that is.
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