sexual mind

A guys point of view on women's bodies

I just had to share this video with you all.  There is so much emphasis on our physical image and so many of us are so critical about our bodies.  This video really speaks up about this.  It is about a hour long, but worth the watch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DecyhijQkcw&feature=youtu.be

Beauty

The grass is greener on the other side illusion

Remember when you were dating?  We spent so much effort putting our best foot forward.  We take care to be well groomed and pleasant to be around.  When you live with someone and deal with the day to day stresses, the best foot tends to get forgotten in the closet. 

It is so easy, when you are with a person day after day and deal with all issues that adult life has to offer, to let the little things begin to annoy us.  We now are seeing the whole person, not just all the positive things.  Little comments made without thought, laundry left on the floor or any of the other thousands of little things that can pile up and cause friction.  All of these things are really trivial and small in the broad scope but sometime we gravitate toward this little irritations and focus on them rather than letting them go and finding the positives to cling to. 

I have seen it happen many times, when there are issues in a relationship, an eye will begin to wander a bit.  It is easy to look at someone outside and see all the positive traits.  Let me tell you though, if you were living with that person every day, you would begin to notice their negatives as well.   This is where we are responsible for what we see and must change our perspective.

In the beginning it will take conscious effort to change this perspective and let the small stuff be swept away and forgiven.  Creating a more positive outlook on things and finding the little pleasantries that we have let blur over is a must.

Noticing and appreciating the good things and releasing the not so good, will change a great many things.

Taking control of how you view the world and what you choose to focus on feels great.  Initially it may be a little difficult, but like anything else, with practice it just gets easier and easier, until one day it is just second nature.  Every morning set the intention to find some lovely little thing.  Maybe it is a bird, or a flower, whatever it is, ask to find it and you will begin to notice.

We can use this in our relationships as well.  Find those happy little moments.  It may be small at first, but you will find them more and more as you go along.  We can also create these moments for our partner.  Take that first step and reach out to them.  Say I love you at a moment that is not expected, like maybe while cooking.  If your partner is standing at the stove cooking, gently caress across their back.  These little things that were so abundant in the courting stage are wonderful to carry on throughout your lifetime.  They make both partners involved feel good and appreciated.

Compliment your partner, whether it is some physical trait or something they do well.  Once again this is where a little stroking the ego can be very beneficial.

Every day find a silver lining.  I guarantee you that if you are alive, and I am pretty sure if you are reading this that you are, you have something to be thankful for.  Be thankful you woke up this morning, after all, if you are awake, you are still alive.

As you focus on the positive, you will begin to notice that the grass on your side is getting greener and greener with every passing day.  What a wonderful gift that is.

Love Notes

Before all the technological advances that we have access to today, people used to send each other love letters.  Some may still write letters to their partner but there are many that just don't have the time or don't feel that they are creative enough to write a lovely prose. 

We now have access to things like email and text messaging to share intimate moments while we are away from our partner.  I also think that post it notes are a simple and wonderful tool.

It is up to you whether you choose to leave a romantic note, uplifting quote or an explicit bit of foreplay for the mind.  These little notes can be left in a lunch box or briefcase for your partner to find later.  Coat pockets, or pants pockets with a kind little pat to follow as he/she walks out the door are great ways to share yourself with your partner.  You could also stick one to his/her steering wheel for him/her to find before he/she drives to work.  All of these little thoughts you have placed for your partner to find are going to play on his/her mind all day long, talk about a nice way to build the anticipation.  These notes can have a great impact on a person's outlook on their day, turning a bad day around and giving your partner a reason to smile.

These little notes are great for the children as well.  It is a little like giving them a hug even when you can't be with them.

Are you doing this daily?

Every day we should be doing things that will strengthen our relationship.  Do you tell your partner that you love them every day?  How many times a day?  Each one of us should be expressing our love and affection to our partner every day, many times a day.  You never know when something could happen and you never have the opportunity to tell your partner, ever again. 

Do you kiss your partner every morning before you leave for work or errands?  What if you got into a car accident and didn’t come home?  Kiss your partner often, not just when you are looking for something more to happen.  I guarantee that if you kiss your partner with passion and anything were to happen to you, they will remember that kiss and hold it close to their heart for years to come.

Do you touch your partner, caress, hold hands and hug?  Every day, all throughout the day, you should be sharing simple little touches of affection.  There are all kinds of touches that are appropriate for any location.  Place your hand on the small of her back as you walk through a door.  Hold hands while you walk from your car to your destination.  Hug your partner from behind while they are preparing a meal or doing the dishes.  Little things like this, with no strings attached, help to strengthen the bond between a couple.

Sexy mind, focused mind

Our biggest sex organ is our mind.  Your brain can create wonderful fantasies and detailed images.  It can also be the glitch that throws a wrench in the works.  Our minds are often focused on the stresses of our daily life.  What to prepare for dinner, when the bills are due and the latest project at work are just a few possible thoughts that run through our minds. 

We can train our brains to be in the moment, enjoying every bit of what is going on here and now.  The first key is to take a moment to relax.  A bath, a walk or a meditation are all great ways to get this started.   The second key is to learn to refocus your mind.  Each time your mind wanders away from the current moment, bring back your attention to something specific that is right in front of you.  For instance you are taking a walk through a park.  If your mind begins to wander off to thoughts about a work project, take a moment to focus on specific details about the path you are walking on or plants that are near.  This may even mean stopping and really giving your undivided attention to a bush or flower.  Notice the color and textures.   As you practice redirecting your mind it will become easier to remain in the moment.  Meditation is a wonderful tool for both relaxing and focusing the mind.

Often times, especially with women, our minds wander away from the moment and pull our attention and energy away from intimate moments with our partner.  Learning to refocus and quiet the chatter in our minds will help us to be in the moment and really enjoy all the wonderful sensations.  If your mind does wander while you are in an intimate moment there are two really good options to bring your mind back to the intimacy.  First would be to redirect  your mind with focus on something specific.  This could be your partners lips, chest or arm muscles flexing or any action that you enjoy watching.  Another option would be to focus your mind on a memory or fantasy about an intimate moment. 

I know this is much easier said than done, but with practice your mind will learn to be more in the moment and refocus quickly when it does wander off.  Trust me, the time and effort you put into training your mind to be in the moment will pay off big time.  When you are able to keep your mind from wandering and really focus on all the sensations that you may have been missing, your potential for mind blowing intimacy is increased exponentially. 

This will improve many other portions of your life as well.  You will be more in tune to your family, friends, work and may notice many things that you have let slip by each day unnoticed.  When you are completely focused and in the moment, performance in all areas will greatly improve.