That old familiar shirt

I have seen it happen again and again.  People cling to the past like putting on an old comfy shirt.  It doesn't always look the best, but it feels familiar, so we go back to it time and time again.

We have all experienced hurts in our past, where we felt out of control of what was happening.  We found anger, or a place to hide.  When situations in our present occur, many times we will grab that emotion from our past, like that old familiar shirt.  Even though it isn't the best option, it doesn't feel as scary as the unknown. 

How often have you seen someone strike out at another, with their rage and harsh words?  I know that I have seen it time and time again.  They reach into their past, grab that familiar old feeling, and lash out at those around them.

Why?  Because it is easier to strike out and hurt them before they can hurt us. 

Does it do any good?  Most of the time, it just causes more harm, leading to more situations similar like those first ones that gave rise to those negative emotions. 

It is hard to open yourself up and be vulnerable.  You could get your feelings hurt but hey, don't you think that striking out at those around you is doing that anyway.  In addition to hurting the others, you are separating yourself from those that can help you to overcome the past hurts and live a more positive and free life.

So here is my challenge to you all.  The next time you feel someone is not living up to your expectations, are wronging or hurting you, leave that old familiar shirt in the past.  Take a deep breath and open yourself up to the potential for a more positive outcome.

Communicate in a calmer manner and let the person know that you are hurting.  Don't jump into the rage, or hide away like a victim.  It will take a lot of effort to begin with, but the benefits far outweigh the risks.

If you are on the receiving end of the strike, this may be the time to grab the offender in a great big bear hug and tell them that you know they are hurting and you are here for them.

Imagine how much nicer things would be if we all reached out to each other with love, rather than rage and hate.  I know that I would prefer the former. 

Remember that we have all faced difficult times and situations.  We can be a positive force that will help others to move past the pain and into a much more pleasant place to exist.

Set a good example, follow this more positive path, and others will follow.