video discussion from male room tv

I enjoy the videos that the Male Room TV does.  This one is "the truth about our sex lives."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqlxkUFv-sY&feature=youtu.be

back to blogland and a documentary video

It has been a while since I posted.  Things have been crazy.  We have been trying to get money from our 401K to drill a new well, since ours was trashed due to flooding.  I never new it would be so hard to get access to money that we had put into that fund.  Still dealing with this stressful situation but trying to let it impact less of the rest of my life, including this blog.

Anyway, on to better things.

I ran across this documentary video.  http://documentaryheaven.com/my-penis-and-i/  I was glad I found it.  It may be eye opening, sad or who knows what other emotion it will bring up for you, but I think it is interesting. 

I would love to be able to sit this guy down and let him know that size is only a small portion, no pun intended, of the equation.  His size may actually help him, due to being able to stimulate the g-spot better.  His passion, fingers, tongue, toys, confidence and so many other factors really have a lot more impact. 

Each one of us is built differently, inside and outside.  Of course there are similarities, but it is the differences that make us who we are.  There is a good compliment to each of us and finding the one that compliments us is part of our journey. 

I would love to see more people learn to love everything about themselves and be less critical, less open to shame and limiting beliefs. 

I know that I have spent a lot of time working on these things in myself and every day, every moment is another opportunity to grow.  I backslide and fall into old patterns just the same as others, but I try to be aware of what I am doing and make steps toward the positive rather that back into the negative.

Dodson and Ross on the Ideal Clit Process

This is an informative video.  Betty has been doing this work for many years and has a lot of great information that she shares.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCWE858VxQ0&list=UURO3FMd3Bg-VTHgraBujKHA

Baggage, are you ready to lighten the load?

Have you ever wondered why there are people that only seem happy when things are going haywire and they have something to complain about.  Well I read an article that talked about how the brain actually releases endorphins in response to negative emotions.  It is kinda like when you stub your toe, it feels bad, but your brain releases chemicals to make you feel better.  These chemicals give you that feel good feeling, which is as addictive as drugs. 


My journey has been creating a more positive life, with more positive things flowing to me.  I have had to make a conscious effort to retrain myself since much of the conditioning leaned toward negative beliefs.  "Money doesn't grow on trees."  "Life is not fair."  I am sure you have heard these or many other statements like them. 

I made a decision to leave that heavy bag full of limiting beliefs, past hurts, and all sorts of negative crap, instead of dragging it along with me.  It is extremely freeing to quit hauling all that junk.  I am not going to say that I don't stumble and fall back into a pattern of letting some of those limiting beliefs back in.  Years of pattern are not changed over night.  However, I make every effort to keep these limiting beliefs out of my existence and bring more positive into its place.

One of the biggest and most simple ways to move into the positive, is to be grateful for things.  Gratitude focuses on the positive things in your life instead of the negative.  Each turn toward a more positive feeling will help to bring more positive to you.  It is a simple law of attraction that like attracts like.   Some examples that we can all be grateful for, since you are reading this you must be alive, is this it is a new day and you are alive.  The past is now in the past and the choices we make from this moment on will be creating a new future.  Stay in the moment and find those things to be grateful for, both large and small.

Another way to have a positive impact is to smile.  Smiles have an impact on others as well as your own brain.  You can actually trick your brain into releasing feel good chemicals and help to release negative emotions when you smile.  Even just placing a pencil in your mouth and engaging those same muscles you use when you smile, will cause your brain to believe you are smiling for real.  Your smile could be just the thing that changes another persons whole day. 

Most of us have some baggage from our past.  Some have a tiny little clutch purse size and others drag a train of large luggage along with them.  I encourage you to try opening your hand and letting go.  You can always go back and pick it back up, if you feel you must.  We all choose our own paths.  I believe that if you really give yourself a chance to move on in your life without the load of crap that you have been dragging, you will not want to continue to haul such a heavy load.  Life flows so much easier when you are not weighed down by all the stuff that is not really serving you. 

So what is the risk of letting it go?  You may feel a bit uncomfortable but you can always choose to crawl back into your comfort zone. Just remember that what is uncomfortable now, will soon become part of your comfort zone.  You can take a baby step outside that comfort zone, wait and let that get comfortable and then take another baby step.  The lion doesn't eat the elephant whole, just one bite at a time.  Let yourself begin your new journey with one step at a time.

What would the benefits be?  You lighten your burden.  You give yourself the opportunity to let more positive into your life.  You free yourself to experience with a fresh perspective.  Limitless potential.  Hmm, sounds good to me.

All the benefits far outweigh the risks in my mind.  I will definitely be continuing along this path of releasing the negative load and turning into the flow of positive gifts that life has to offer.

What is your choice?

What would it take for ______________ to happen?

We all have dreams and desires.  What would it take for those desires to come about?

Sometimes it seems that our dreams are too far from our reach.  So I encourage you to ask yourself, "what would it take for my dreams to come true?" 

Begin by visualizing your dream.  What does it look like being in that dream?
What does it feel like, living this dream?
What can I do now, to put me a step closer to this dream?
Is there something that you need to learn to get closer to your dream?
What can you do in this moment?


Take that first small step toward your dream.  This first step is often the most difficult, often because we fear "losing" the dream or not being deserving of our dream.  Box that fear up and give it to the angels.  Fill yourself with love instead, fear cannot live where love resides.


Don't compare your dream to others, we all have our perfect dream for us and we are all deserving of our own personal dream.   It is created just for us and is meant for us alone.

So dream big, and start with those small steps on your way to your dream.

Time for a BAB- Body Appreciating Bath

Every day we see ads telling us to buy diet plans, anti-aging creams and such.  We are never thin enough, pretty enough, rich enough, or perfect enough in some other persons thinking.  It is no wonder that so many of us are so critical about ourselves.

I say it is high time that we begin a routine of appreciation.  One of the easiest ways that I have found to appreciate my body, is during a bath. 

Now I have always been a shower person myself and have a hard time relaxing in the bath.  My mind was always racing, thinking about other things that I should be doing, like taking a moment to enjoy myself and relax was not allowed or a waste of time or something, how ridiculous.  Recently though, I have began a routine of taking a bath before some of my showers.  I fill my tub with warm water and some wonderfully scented bath salts.  I climb in and lay back and focus on my breathing.  I plug my ears so the sound of my breathing is amplified and focus on taking slow and deep breaths.  I was a bit surprised at first at how relaxed I could get by focusing on my breathing in the tub. 

Once I am relaxed I begin my body appreciation routine.  Remember that this is about appreciation and not a time to criticize.  I start with my feet, but you can start any place you choose.  I thank my feet for carrying my body through the day, allowing me to walk and stand.  I thank my legs for being strong, allowing me to walk, run, ride a bike or a horse.  I think my glutes for aiding in my movement and for a comfy way to sit.  I think my belly for carrying my children.  I can even thank my fat for insulating me against the cold.  No part of your body is wrong or bad, it just is.  Every part of us has a job to do and we should be thankful for those jobs that it does.  Our lungs breathe, our hearts pump the life sustaining blood and nutrients.  The list goes on and on.  Take a moment to appreciate each part of your body.

Appreciation is a blessed thing.  The more that we appreciate things within and around us, the more there will be to appreciate.

Lets all make a point to appreciate our body, beginning with at least once a week and working up to daily.  Appreciation is the beginning to a wonderful path of self love and to the abundance that many of us desire.

That old familiar shirt

I have seen it happen again and again.  People cling to the past like putting on an old comfy shirt.  It doesn't always look the best, but it feels familiar, so we go back to it time and time again.

We have all experienced hurts in our past, where we felt out of control of what was happening.  We found anger, or a place to hide.  When situations in our present occur, many times we will grab that emotion from our past, like that old familiar shirt.  Even though it isn't the best option, it doesn't feel as scary as the unknown. 

How often have you seen someone strike out at another, with their rage and harsh words?  I know that I have seen it time and time again.  They reach into their past, grab that familiar old feeling, and lash out at those around them.

Why?  Because it is easier to strike out and hurt them before they can hurt us. 

Does it do any good?  Most of the time, it just causes more harm, leading to more situations similar like those first ones that gave rise to those negative emotions. 

It is hard to open yourself up and be vulnerable.  You could get your feelings hurt but hey, don't you think that striking out at those around you is doing that anyway.  In addition to hurting the others, you are separating yourself from those that can help you to overcome the past hurts and live a more positive and free life.

So here is my challenge to you all.  The next time you feel someone is not living up to your expectations, are wronging or hurting you, leave that old familiar shirt in the past.  Take a deep breath and open yourself up to the potential for a more positive outcome.

Communicate in a calmer manner and let the person know that you are hurting.  Don't jump into the rage, or hide away like a victim.  It will take a lot of effort to begin with, but the benefits far outweigh the risks.

If you are on the receiving end of the strike, this may be the time to grab the offender in a great big bear hug and tell them that you know they are hurting and you are here for them.

Imagine how much nicer things would be if we all reached out to each other with love, rather than rage and hate.  I know that I would prefer the former. 

Remember that we have all faced difficult times and situations.  We can be a positive force that will help others to move past the pain and into a much more pleasant place to exist.

Set a good example, follow this more positive path, and others will follow.

Role play idea--handyman

 The only limitation to role playing is your imagination and the willingness of your partner.  Here is a "handyman" scenario.

The handyman knocks on your door.  He is dressed in well fitting jeans and a snug t-shirt.  A tool belt hangs low on his hips, drawing your eyes from the muscles in his upper body.  After slowly checking him out, you escort him inside and show him what needs worked on.

You could play this as he must fix a terrible leak under your sink (or other repair duty).  As he begins to work, you admire the way his muscles flex with each movement as he completes the repairs.  Once he is done, you inform him that you have no cash to pay him.  Now come the negotiations.  What can you do for him to compensate for his handy work? In this scenario, the handyman will be in charge of directing the actions to be taken.

Another option would be that your body, rather than the house, has things that need worked on.  It will be your job to direct him to all the areas that need extra attention and what kind of attention they need. 

Of course you can switch it up, where there is a handy-woman that will be coming to the aid of the "not-so-handy gentleman."

Let your imagination flow and remember to have fun!

over-stimulated and desensitized?

Life today is so busy and there is so much stimulation, many of us have learned to tune things out just to be able to cope with it all.  Computers, cell phones and hectic lives have all played a part in this.  These things are great tools at times, but other times they become one more thing that pulls us from our partners, our own inner peace and the ability to be in the moment.

Try setting aside a bit of time each day where you step away from the technology and the chaos and truly unwind and be in the moment. 

Plan a date with your partner where you will devote a specific amount of time, say 20 minutes at least, where you will focus on stimulation of a pleasant nature.   A sensual massage is a great tool for this exercise.  Spend time using different intensities of pressure, caresses to firm pressure.  Stimulate every part of the body, not just the areas that you commonly gravitate to.  Really focus on what you are feeling and the differences in the kinds of touch.  Take turns giving and receiving, being totally present in that moment. 

Music can be a helpful tool to tune out some of the noise that bombards us.  Instrumental is best due to lack of vocal stimulation.  Listen to the music, let it keep one portion of your brain distracted, so you can notice a bit of nature.

Notice the patterns of color in the bark of the tree.  See how the breeze moves the branches and the leaves.  Watch a bird or butterfly, how they move and float on the air currents. 

These little things are so often missed and they are truly miracles, each and every one.

When we learn to tune into these subtleties, instead of tuning them out, we will automatically put ourselves into the flow of nature and of the universe.  Positive things will begin to flow more into your life when you notice and appreciate all the miracles.

role play idea: Dr. and nurse or Dr. and patient

Some people are blessed with a vibrant imagination.  They are able to come up with all kinds of new and interesting thoughts and ideas on a whim.  Others love a little assistance in the imagination area.  For those that would like a little primer for their imagination, here are a few possibilities for role play.

One partner will play the doctor and the other the nurse, or assistant of some sort, for this example we will use nurse.  Costumes are handy to amp up the play a bit, but if props are not available, you can improvise.  One example would be a clipboard or a notebook could be a patient's chart.

The nurse could come out to inform the doctor what symptoms the next patient is complaining about.  At this point this could play out with either the doctor or the nurse being the initiator.

If the nurse initiates, the nurse could walk up to the doctor, caress the lapels between their fingers, admiring the chest, while teasing the senses and informing the doctor of the patient's needs.  Maybe the nurses needs are more important than the patient's at this point and the nurse pulls the doctor into another room so the doctor can provide much needed aid.

If the doctor is the initiator, perhaps the doctor will overstep the boundary of what is normally considered  appropriate behavior for a superior.  Suggestive comments, "inappropriate touches" and requirements of extra duties in order to maintain employment could be used in this role play.

You could also use this basic idea except with a doctor and a patient.  Maybe the patient doesn't have any money to pay for services to be rendered, but willing to provide a service of their own to compensate.  This could play out as the suggestion coming from either the patient or from the doctor.

Perhaps the patient is not suffering from any illness or pain at all, just looking to connect with an attractive doctor.

Perhaps the recommended treatment for what is ailing the patient is not a pill, but a much more intimate type of medicine.

Let's not forget that either sex can play the role of the doctor in this scenario.  No need to limit yourself to gender based thinking.  

The possibilities are many, from the vanilla side of things to BDSM.  The choice is yours.  These are just a few ideas that may spark a little idea that can be fanned into flames of passion.

There is a multitude of fun costumes that can be worn for role play.  Here are several nurse costume options http://aplaceforpassion.com/sc/Costumes/Nurse

The art of the ask

Some people seem to be born with the ability to ask for what they want.  Others, well they have a harder time asking for things.  I am one of the others and I am working on improving the art of the ask.

It can be something as simple as asking for a little assistance with a task that you are trying to complete.  For me, asking always seemed to be like admitting that I was not good enough or something to accomplish it on my own.  What a crock that story was that I was telling myself.

Asking for assistance or for what you want is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign that you are.  You know those sayings, "two heads are better than one" and "work smarter not harder" well, they have been around a long time for a reason. 


If you would like assistance with a task, rather than running an internal dialogue about how you have to do this by yourself, nobody will offer to help, blah, blah, blah, just speak up.  How are others supposed to know what is going on in your head?  Are they just supposed to "see" that you need assistance?  How silly is that thinking?

When you would like some help, politely ask someone for a little bit of assistance.  You will be a lot happier when you share the responsibility rather than playing the victim and being angry because you had to do it all yourself.  For your own sake, learn the art of the ask.

When you are dealing with an intimate moment, and you are thinking that you would love it if your partner would do something different, ask.  Don't get in the rut of wishing for things to be different but not speaking up about it. 

The key would be in how you ask for what you want.  Doing it in a positive manner is the key.  Don't let it come out like "don't do it like that, I don't like that" but rather something like "a little to the left and slower please, oh yeah, just like that." 

Learning the art of the ask can help to relieve many of the potential irritations or stresses in our lives, each and every day.  Make it a habit to ask, even when you just want a little company to perform a task.

sandpaper hands no more

Ladies, I am sure you all can understand where I am coming from with this topic, and men can appreciate it as well.  When hands are rough, dry and cracked, they are the right texture for scratching a back, but not a good combo for intimacy. Those lovely caresses soon become grating and irritating, not what you are wanting when you are trying to turn your partner on.

My husband works outside and with a lot of water.  He has struggled with with trying to keep the moisture in his hands for a long time.  We have tried tons of lotions, creams and even tried vaseline at night with gloves on, with little or no success. In order to aid in comfort during intimacy, latex or nitrile gloves became a go-to tool.

Finally, I found a solution.  I purchased a lotion made by Earthly Body. http://aplaceforpassion.com/product/Skinny_Dip_Hemp_Seed_Hand_And_Body_Lotion_-_8_oz./0/EB-HS021  (this is the skinny dip scent  which is vanilla/cotton candy scent)

In less than two weeks, the difference in my husband's hands is amazing.  He only applies it once or twice a day and goodbye gloves, hello nice hands.  He still has callouses so he is able to do his work with ease, but they are now smooth and the cracking and bleeding and the roughness is gone.  A caress is actually a caress again rather than abrasion.

I wash my hands often during the day and my hands were looking dry and older than my years.  I was applying lotions 7-10 times a day.  Now I am only applying the Hemp Seed Hand and Body Lotion maybe twice a day and my hands look so much younger and stay soft much longer.

I am so impressed with this product that I just had to share this information with others.  In addition to the benefits in our skin condition, it is a natural, made with hemp seed oil and natural botanicals.   It also comes in a variety of scents.

The cost of this lotion, when compared by usage with the other lotions I have tried, is by far the best value.  I invite you all to try this for yourself and let me know what you think.

Initiating

There are so many levels that are possible to initiating intimacy.  Some people are bold, stating clearly, exactly what they desire.  Some people are extremely subtle, just snuggling up, hugging, or holding hands can be a way to express interest in the possibility.  This can be so subtle that the receiver does not even realize that this is in fact, the person initiating.  When the person who has initiated, in this subtle way, gets less of a response than is desired, this can be seen as a rejection.

The bold partner may be thinking that they are the only one to initiate, even though both people have put in the effort, just in different ways.

It is important to open these lines of communication so the possibility of confusion can be eliminated.

Key phrases can be agreed upon by the couple as a signal that one is interested in the possibility.  These phrases can be about a completely unrelated subject, allowing the couple to have a secret signal that can be used, even in the presence of others. 

This could be a fun way to create anticipation, especially when you are at a public gathering and unable to leave immediately.  (Unless you are brave enough to sneak off to the rest room or other secret location together for a quickie)

Reaching for the "feel good" feeling

For any who have studies the Law of Attraction, you know that like attracts like.  So going with that thinking, if you want positive things in your life, you have to find the positives you currently have and hold them in your focus.  Be grateful for the good things and more good with come to you.

So, let us talk about orgasm for a moment.  Anyone that has experienced an orgasm knows that it is a delightful feeling.  There is power, bliss and a lack of negativity.  It is like the embodiment of positivity.  Your body releases all these "feel good" chemicals, allowing you to bond with your partner, relax and release.  It embodies pure love and bliss, which is what many of us strive for in our lives. I gotta say, there is more to intimacy than just orgasm, but I can see why it holds such focus for so many.  While the orgasm is wonderful, lets not forget about the other pleasures that we can have. 

Being totally in the moment is so necessary for us all.  We live such busy lives, that often have us rushing around just to get things done and we miss so much.  I think often times that we are like this in our sex lives as well.  We get that goal of an orgasm as our focus and forget to really be in the moment.  I encourage you to slow down a bit and really enjoy.  Be completely in the moment, choosing to focus on the here and now, not allowing the mind to run away with you and your potential to find and enjoy bliss.

Focus in on what all your senses are receiving.  What do you hear?  What tastes are you tasting?  What are you seeing?  What scents can you smell?  What does each individual touch feel like?  Really focus in on each sense, one at a time.  Do you hear traffic, the sound of the house shifting on it's foundation, birds chirping or music playing?  Notice each sound.  Now pick another sense, touch for example, and notice all the details about it.  What pressure is being used?  Is it soft or rough?  How does it feel different between touching here vs. there? 

When we really sense the moment, with all the variations, our senses will amplify.  The senses are so bombarded every day, that we can get tuned out.  I encourage you to tune in instead.  Your intimate encounters as well as all your other encounters will be so much more full. 

So I encourage you to engage, be sensual, and enjoy all the bliss that is available every day to each and every one of us.

Wonderous Journey!!

So I am going to think out loud here for a bit.  I consider myself a spiritual person.  I believe in a higher power and often ask (pray, however you want to look at that) to the angels and that higher power.  I am working on having positive focus as often as I can in my life.  Being an optimistic person, you would think this is pretty natural and easy, but I have struggled with limiting beliefs that have made it difficult at times. I am working on eliminating these limiting beliefs from my life and being more open to possibilities, wonder, delight and enlightenment. 

Most of us have heard things like "money doesn't grow on trees" and "good girls don't do things like that" or a variety of other things like that.  Shame and limiting beliefs just seems to be a normal part of society and I gotta say, what a load of crap! 

Undoing years of conditioning is a challenge, but I am taking it on.  I want to employ beliefs like "you can do anything you desire and set your mind to" and release the shame and limiting beliefs that have had a hold over my enjoyment. "Enough" I say!!  It has taken a lot of growth to get to where I currently am, and I am not stopping here folks.  This is just the beginning. 

So now I continue forward...
With harm to none...
Reaching for goals of "_________" or more......
Blessing all.....
Trusting my guidance........
Expecting greatness.........
Spreading the love and knowledge that I have gained and always striving for more.............

Will you join me on this wonderous journey?

Intimate Avenue

Most of the scenes in movies and books portray intimate moments that are smooth, exciting and free of "oops."  As we all know, life tends to have a few bumps in the road along the way.  The same tends to be the case in our "real life" intimate encounters.

Whether it is a bed that decides to fall apart in the heat of the moment or a misplaced elbow, things tend to happen that are outside the realm of perfection.  I think that each of us has experienced a little blunder or two as we have grown in our experiences. 

The key at times like this is to keep your mood light.  Remember to laugh at these little blunders.  Perfection is not necessary at all times.  Some of the greatest things have come from fumbling around and finding excellence by accident.

New Year Goals

A lot of people do New Year's Resolutions, some are kept and some are not.  Instead of doing resolutions I challenge you to set goals instead.  If you don't meet a goal, you just keep working toward it, rather than having possible negativity with failing to follow through with a resolution.

Since my blog is about passion, I recommend setting goals in that area.  Passion in our relationships for example might have the goal of each week (each month if you are more comfortable with that) to explore a new thing.  This could be incorporating a new position or new toy into your intimate moments.  Maybe you want to focus on making more time for bonding as a couple.  Perhaps you want to do something nice for your partner.  This could be something like leaving a small note for them, giving a massage.  Maybe giving them the opportunity to have some time away from the hustle and bustle of daily responsibility to take a walk, hang with the girls or guys, or get a spa treatment.

Another possible goal could involve working on your own growth.  Have you ever meditated?  Maybe this year would be a good time to give it a go.  Are you wanting to improve your physical condition?  Small changes can have a big impact.  Instead of walking slumped and looking down, stand up and swing your arms.  Dance a little bit.  Dancing can have a big impact on your mood as well as a fun way to burn a few calories.  Ladies, did you know that dancing can engage your feminine energy?  Work, lists, running a household and most jobs that we perform are all masculine energy.  It is a good thing to keep these energies in balance.  Engaging the feminine energy will also make it easier to find your sexy.

These are just a couple of ideas and there is limitless possibilities.  What are your goals for the year?